Relationship Issues

I work with individuals (though not couples) who wish to explore the personal issues which cause them to struggle in their most intimate, social and/ or work- related relationships.

A common myth is that everyone has a soul mate; find that person, life will be beautiful and you will live happily ever after. This is often not our experience. When we realize this the real work of relationships is able to being. By talking about, observing and examining relationship patterns from our childhoods and families of origin, as well as feelings involved with them, we can free ourselves from the fear and pain that now keeps us from being open and creative in enriching our current relationships.

Few of us get along well with everyone. None of us do it all the time either, especially with those we love and are closest to. A difference of opinion is not conflict. In healthy relationships, differences of opinion can show everyone’s views and feelings are being heard and honoured. Such differences become a problem, a conflict when we become aggressive in an attempt to force our point of view onto others. When caught up in such unhealthy ways, we are usually also caught in deep emotional pain and fear caused by early life experiences. Talking about these memories and having your feelings empathically validated can be very freeing and empowering.

Tools

The tools I would offer as I accompanied you on this journey could include;

1. Effective talk therapy which assures you that someone understands what you are feeling. Talking helps us begin to understand, to the best of our ability, the roots of relationship issues. Observation is 98% of the healing process.
2. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy which helps you develop a full list of the gifts, skills and values that you already possess, though may not be able to fully appreciate or access.
3. The Genogram, which provides an overview of the dynamics of your family of origin and the key relationships which were part of your early psychological development.
4. An introduction to mindfulness meditation, a calming and focusing practice that centres your attention on following your breath to the core of your being.
5. The energy-psychology of Emotional Freedom Techniques which frees up frozen emotions from past trauma.